The Misled

The Misled

Scene: The lights fade in revealing a small room furnished with a small couch, an end table with a telephone on it, a tall mirror and a coffee table with a few magazines on it. A woman is standing in front of the mirror observing herself in her wedding gown. Next to her stands her maid of honor in a bridesmaid dress.

Amy
(Watches Lori in pride, trying to hold back tears of joy with her waving hand; Moans)
Awe-
Lori
(Confused)
What?

Amy
Nothing (louder) Awe-

Lori
(Still confused and louder)
What?

Amy
Nothing (loud) Awe-

Lori
What, Amy!?

Amy
(Shouting)
Oh, finally!

Lori
Finally what?

Amy
Well, you know (Orbits hands around Lori) this, the whole marriage thing. I mean, it just seems like it's taken so long.

Lori
(Sarcastically)
Oh, thanks.

Amy
Oh, no, don't get me wrong. It's great that it's finally happening, but I mean honestly Lori, did you think you'd be 38 when you finally settled down?

Lori
(Sadly)
Well, no.

Amy
(Excitedly)
Well, anyway! Enough of that, this is your big day and it's going to be fantastic!

Lori
You mean me and Jesse's big day.

Amy
(Confused)
What?

Lori
Jesse (Pause) the groom!

Amy
(Enthusiastically)
Oh, Jesse. Yes him too. I'm just so happy that my best friend is finally tying the knot. (Reaches out and wraps her arms around Lori squeezing her tightly)

Lori
(Uncomfortably hugs Amy back)
Uh, Amy.

Amy
(While still hugging Lori and smiling)
Yes.

Lori
Can I ask you a quick question?

Amy
Sure, anything. (Hugs Lori Tighter)

Lori
Just wondering, umm, your not one of those people who uh, you know (Deepens voice) "Lives their dreams through their friends" (Voice returns to normal) or anything right? (Giggles unsurely)

Amy
(Looks up at Lori and smiles while giggling softly and then taps Lori playfully on the nose and giggles some more.) I'm going to go make sure everything is running smoothly out there, o.k. (Turns around and skips towards the door humming "Here comes the bride")

Lori
(Walks over to the mirror and studies herself, sighs deeply.)

Nancy
(She walks into the room very snooty with her nose in the air. Her clothes are overly formal and she is wearing a large obnoxious hat.

Lori
(Enthusiastically)
Hey, Mom!

Nancy
(Discreetly disgusted)
Hello Lauren. (Pauses for an awkward silence) Why don't you come over and sit next to your (Struggles to speak) mother in law. (Lori walks towards Nancy) We'll have, uh, what do you kids call it, Ah, Girlie chat. (Smiles)

Lori
(Plops down very close to Nancy)
O.k.!

Nancy
(Slides to the left a little) Yes, now, just look at you, absolutely, umm ravishing (Flaunts a fake smile)

Lori
Thank you!

Nancy
(Ignoring Lori)

Oh I remember my first wedding, I was so nervous. (Turns quickly towards Lori) Are you nervous?

Lori
Oh no. I know Jesse is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. (Smiles upward)

Nancy
(Disappointed)
Oh. (Enthusiastically) I mean it's completely fine if you are nervous! It's not too late for me to call off the wedding you know! I mean I'd just have to make a couple calls and-

Lori
No, that's ok. I'm-

Nancy
The caterer, DJ, symphony, oh can’t forget to inform the president-

Lori
No really Nancy that's O.K.-

Nancy
And don't worry about Jesse honey. I'm completely sure he'll underst-

Lori
(Yelling)
Enough!

Nancy
(Shocked)
Oh, I'm sorry.

Lori
(Apologetic)
No, I'm sorry Nancy. I'm just truly happy to be with Jesse and I'm absolutely positive things will work out. (Smiles)

Nancy
(Begins to speak with a conniving tone)
Oh, well that's great and everything. I just wish I could say the same about Jesse...

Lori
(Panicking)
What, are you telling me that Jesse is having sec, second thoughts?

Nancy
Hey now, I wouldn't go as far as calling them second thoughts. Just a couple panic attacks every now and then, you know.

Lori
Panic attacks!

Nancy
Why yes. Oh and don't even get me started on the constant nightmares he keeps having!

Lori
Nightmares too!

Nancy
Yes, you know, the ones where you wake up in the middle of the night screaming (Leaps to her feet while yelling out obnoxiously) "Why me, why me God, what did I ever do to deserve this beast-”

Lori
(With attitude)
BEAST!

Nancy
(Reassuringly)
Yes, Beast! (Clears throat and assumes dramatic position) "…in my life!"

Lori
Well, I guess there is a lot that I didn't know about Jesse.

Nancy
Yeah well none of that really matters now right. I'm just happy that Jesse is finally settling down.

Lori
What do you mean finally?

Nancy
Oh nothing really. I think you’re around number 17, or was it 22? Man, I guess you just lose count after so many women, you know?

Lori
(Furious)
What!?

Nancy
Well there was Christie, Sara, Tammy, Leslie, Nicole (pauses) hey, whatever happened to Nicole? I liked that girl.

Lori
Wait, you’re telling me that Jesse, my Jesse has been with all tho-

Nancy
(Ignoring Lori)
Dana, Kirsten, Tory, Allison, oh and those twins from Brazil-

Lori
Twins!

Nancy
Yeah, boy they were fun. Then he moved away and I mean, only God knows what happened then. (Laughs) But eventually he came back and he chose you Lauren! (Places hand on Lori's shoulder) You're a lucky girl. (Smiles)

Lori
Lucky huh!

Nancy
Well yeah, I mean anyone would be lucky to have him. Even as a child, I loved my little Jessica.

Lori
Jessica? You mean Jesse has a sister?

Nancy
Oh of course not (laughs then pauses seriously) Wait, you mean Jesse never told you?

Lori
(Nervously)
Told me what?

Nancy
Well honey, I don't know how to tell you this but, Jesse had a sex change when he, or she, turned 19.

Lori
(Shocked)
WHAT!

Nancy
(Quickly looks at watch)
Woo, look at the time. We're almost ready to get this show on the road! Well good luck honey (pats Lori on the back) can't wait to be family (pauses) daughter! (Smiles and hugs Lori tightly, then gets up and walks out of the room)

Lori
(Jumps off the couch and leaps to the phone, picks it up and dials rapidly) Hello, hey I need a cab at 9348 Lexington Ave. N. immediately! (Pauses, only to hear the cab company suggest a later pickup) No, you don't understand. I need a cab now! (Pauses) O.K. you listen here, I just found out on my wedding day, that my husband thinks I'm a beast, he's a player, and he used to be a she, So if you don't get your small minded, inconsiderate a- (Lori is interrupted by screeching tires. She slams the phone down and begins to rapidly write a note. She then slams the note down on the coffee table. Lori pulls off her dress revealing casual clothing and throws her dress on the floor as she sprints out of the room; Nancy then enters the room once Lori is gone.

Nancy
Oh Lauren, I almost forg- (realizes Lori is gone and notices the note she wrote. Nancy runs out of the room returning with Jesse) Honey, I hate to break it to you but-

Jesse
Where is Lori? (Picks up the note and reads it out loud) Dear Jessica, Marriage is supposed to be about trust and telling the truth. It's obvious that you possess neither of these qualities. So have a nice life, sincerely, your past (Pauses to think then turns to Nancy) Jessica, who is Jessica??? (Nancy grabs his hand and slowly walks him toward the door)

Nancy
Jesse, my sweet little boy (Pinches Jesse’s cheeks) oh, I never really liked that Lori girl anyway. Just forget about her. You can always come back home with mama, you know, home. Now, I was talking to this wonderful bridesmaid out there, and unlike Lori, she seemed very excited about this wedding. Now what was her name (pauses) Ah, Amy! (Nancy escorts Jesse offstage, lights fade.)




The End